Sharing from the Scar Not the Wound in Client Relationships

In the realm of client and customer relationships, authenticity and empathy are powerful ingredients for building trust and connection. As practitioners, we often might find ourselves navigating the delicate balance between being open about our experiences and maintaining professionalism. A key principle to hold in this process is “sharing from the scar, not the wound.”

sharing from the scar not the wound image: photograph of weathered treebark, which includes a healed scar. The bark is brown and features ridging

What Does It Mean to Share from the Scar, Not the Wound?

The phrase “share from the scar, not the wound” is about offering insights and reflections on past challenges only after you’ve processed and healed from them. It means discussing lessons learned and growth achieved, rather than airing out unprocessed pain or struggles. This approach ensures that your sharing is constructive and helps build trust with your clients without overwhelming them with raw, unresolved issues, or getting confused about ‘who it’s for’ when you are sharing.

Why This Approach Can Be Powerful

It Builds Credibility and Trust:
Sharing from a place of healing rather than ongoing struggle demonstrates that you’ve navigated challenges successfully. It shows clients that you have the experience and resilience to handle difficulties, which builds credibility and trust. They are more likely to respect and value your insights when they see evidence of your growth and recovery.

It Offers Valuable Lessons:
By sharing insights from past experiences, you provide valuable lessons and guidance based on your journey. This kind of sharing can inspire and motivate clients, offering them practical advice and solutions based on real-world scenarios. It’s about turning your experiences into tools for their benefit.

It Maintains Professional Boundaries:
Discussing raw, unprocessed pain can blur professional boundaries and make clients uncomfortable. By focusing on the lessons learned from past challenges, you maintain a professional demeanor while still offering personal insights. This approach helps keep the relationship grounded and respectful.

It Encourages Positive Engagement:
Sharing from the scar allows you to frame your experiences positively. Instead of focusing on the difficulties, you highlight how you overcame them and what you learned. This encourages clients to engage with your narrative in a constructive manner, fostering a positive relationship.

sharing from the scar not the wound image: photograph a person with long hair sitting cross legged. The sun is behind them, casting them in shadow

Ways to Apply This Principle

Reflect on Your Experiences:
Take time to reflect on your past challenges and what you’ve learned from them. Consider how these lessons can be presented in a way that is beneficial to your clients, whether in your webiste copy or while in discussion with clients.

Balance Personal Insights with Professionalism:
Maintain a balance between personal anecdotes and professional guidance. Ensure that your sharing aligns with your clients’ needs and the professional context of your interactions.

Encourage Open Dialogue:
Create opportunities for clients to share their own experiences and challenges. This two-way dialogue fosters a supportive environment and builds a deeper connection based on mutual understanding and empathy.

 

Conclusion

“Sharing from the scar, not the wound” is a powerful principle that can be used for building strong, trusting relationships with clients and customers. By focusing on the lessons you’ve learned on your path, plus the growth you’ve experienced, you offer valuable insights while maintaining professionalism and respect. This approach not only enhances your credibility but also fosters positive and constructive engagement with your audience.

As you continue to build relationships, remember to reflect on your experiences and consider whether you want to share them thoughtfully. Your journey can inspire and guide others, creating meaningful connections and contributing to a supportive and professional environment.

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